I’ve decided that I’m not very much cut out to be a “single” mama.

I mean no offense. Honest.

 I can do it but It’s amazing what you can seriously take for granted when the hubs goes on a business trip.
Even if you get all Martha Stewart and try and prepare as much as you possibly can beforehand.
But let me put out a disclaimer before I continue. My idea of Martha Stewart and Martha Stewart’s idea of Martha Stewart are 2 separate things.

You see, my idea of Martha is having  sandwiches premade, the little snack size baggies filled with cheese its and a couple of Oreos set out on the counter for easy grab n’ go in the mornings. Having the clothes hung and ready to grab and throw on (because who really has time to iron anymore?!) Is a major time saver.
 Even when I’ve gone all Martha and prepared, there’s always some little bump in the road that tries (and embarrassingly succeeds) to rattle my cage.

There are mornings during these times that I have to stop close my eyes and just breathe.


Thank you.

I can do this.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

When the Jelly from the breakfast toast has somehow made its way to the ceiling (I really don’t want to know how) and that silly Billy boy of mine (not his name but a term of endearment I made up long ago) is still in his sock feet dancing and singing “Shekinah Glory come….” Not even remotely ready to walk out the door.
  The dog stares at us pleading with her eyes “please go… I have things to shred while you’re away”



These days are fleeting I must remember.

I know several single mama’s and I have the utmost respect for them!

 What you do day in and day out, the sacrifices that you make for your children. I stand in amazement.

It makes me realize how much I take for granted…

The way my husband helps our son with homework, takes him outside to help with the yard, or the nights that I have to work late and he’s in the kitchen showing our son how to cook and make messes. Nights that he's thrown a load of laundry in and cleaned up the kitchen that looked like Mount Vesuvius exploded in.

I totally take that for granted.  Embarrassingly, I expect it and maybe I shouldn't?

Those early days when I had my first panic attack and literally thought I was going to die. The nights I would come home from work (after holding it all together all day) and curl up in a ball in the middle of our bed trying to breathe and claw through the spidery webs of anxiety that were wrapping their prickly fibers around my body.
He was taking care of our son and making dinner. Trying to get me to eat. Holding me tightly when I asked him to. Stepping away and allowing me to be alone when I needed to. Going on doctor visits as we tried to figure out what was going on.

That's definitely something that should not be taken for granted. That is unconditional love.

So, when my son and I came home last night and the dog had found the rolls of wrapping paper I had left out from Christmas (yes, you heard me correctly... I know it's almost May). She ripped it all to shreds in front of  the door we enter through and then proceeded to throw up not once, not twice, but three times in the living room! All while I'm trying to get my son to get started on his homework.
 I also discovered the school fundraiser packet was due the next day and that silly packet was sitting on my desk at work 45 minutes away. This reduced said child to tears and made me absolutely positive that I will not be getting Mother of the year for sure!

But God.

He's watching all of this unfold and watching my reactions. He's watching the Martha in me. Not the Martha Stewart I mentioned earlier but Martha from the chapter of Luke.
She was fit to be tied over all of the work that she had to do. I'm guessing we totally could be twinsies! She became so exasperated that she asked "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me all the work by myself Tell her to come and help me!"
Luke 10:40 GNB

I see myself in the middle of this mess of shredded wrapping paper. Homework helper, dinner maker, fundraiser helper, housekeeper, chauffeur, counselor, Daddy and Mommy (only for a few days at a time) and I see the same exasperation that Martha is feeling. I'm being spread so thin by my own doing.

Because, in the next verse: The Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha (insert your name here)! You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41 GNB

He says "you are worried and troubled over so many things"  UMMMMM YEP!!

Trivial things really.

 Yes, the dog decided to make her own confetti (maybe she was going to throw my hubs a surprise party when he returns) but how hard is it to clean it up and move on?
The fund raiser packet, well, I'm pretty sure the information could be faxed to the school and the packet sent in the next day; and the homework, it might take a little extra time to help him but I can carve out ten minutes to sit and give him a quick quiz.

Really, when I think about Mary and Martha I can see people I know that are true blue "Mary's" and Oh how I wish I could not be so concerned about the silly little details like Martha. Just grab that time I use for fretting, curl right up next to Jesus, and allow myself to hang on his every word, basking in his awesome presence.

Have you found yourself in a situation where you were being Martha? Or maybe you're just like Mary.  Were you ever a Martha that converted to a Mary?

I'm trying to be more "Mary" during these times. More times than not I revert back to Martha but He knows I'm trying.

Linking up with Bonnie Gray in her Whitespace today.

 photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/shankbone/4580130735/">david_shankbone</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>


  1. I'm not sure I ever connected Martha Stewart with our own "Martha, Martha" of NT fame, but there might be a definite similarity there.

    I have the utmost respect for single moms too. I had a taste of it for a few years when my first husband left me and my newborn alone. It was hard but probably one of the greater periods of spiritual growth that I've had on my journey. I like to think that God knows just how far he can push us. ;-) He then blessed me with the greatest husband/father with my now-and-forever husband.

    Thanks for sharing this true-life look at what many of our days look like! It made me smile.

    1. I agree that God knows just how far he can push us! Even when life hands us something unexpected.
      Glad that I made you smile :)


  2. My husband and I have been in similar situations. I have struggled with anxiety and panic attacks and the devastation they cause. It brings ti mind something my husband' s grandmother said to us in the early years of our marriage -she said,"marriage is not always 50/50. Sometimes it' 80/20 or even 100/0... what matters is that you both are doing what you can to keep moving forward together. " (she also advocated the importance of self-care not martyrdom) -Kristin

    1. Such wisdom from your husband's grandmother! It's so true :)
      The anxiety/panic attack thing is so annoying. I remember pleading with God early on to take them away. He always has other plans though. :)
      It's refreshing to know that I'm not alone and neither are you. :)
      Someday, we'll be in heaven rejoicing in perfect peace!

  3. I love how you tell a story, Krista! Yes, I am often a Martha worrying about everything and long to like you to More often "curl right up next to Jesus, and allow myself to hang on his every word, basking in his awesome presence." Such a beautiful way to put it! Do you still get anxiety attacks? It sounds like you have a wonderfully supportive hubby.

    1. Aw thanks Trudy! I always look forward to reading your blog :)
      I do have a wonderfully supportive hubby! Even though he has a hard time understanding how I can be fine one moment and gripped in a panic attack the next...
      They started about 4 years ago and my doctor tried meds but I gave up and suffered silently for about 2 years. I finally found something that helps. I still have moments every now and then but I can talk and breathe my way through them. They aren't as frequent either (praise God! ). It's funny how God uses these "life events" that you really didn't plan for to take you somewhere awesome (like our Thursday jams) and meet others that you can relate to. :)

      Thanks for dropping by!


    2. So glad your panic attacks have finally eased off some, Krista. Yes, it really is something how God opens the doors to something that blesses us. :)

  4. Its crazy at times when we look at how busy life is. I am so grateful that i dont have to depend on my own strength.

    1. Amen Sara! Amen! :)
      Thanks for stopping by today.
      Blessings to you,

  5. Wonderful words!!! Keep going momma, He's got you :)

    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you Hooahsgirl!
      Your comment made me smile! :)