A different kind of insomnia

There were nights several years ago when I was awakened by the tight, unrelenting grip of a panic attack. Thankfully, those nights are behind me now. These days (or should I say nights), I am occasionally awakened by God and prompted to pray.

It's very early on a Saturday morning, the waning, silvery, moon is shining a pattern on the bedroom floor. I peek out the window to see the dedicated men are meeting up and preparing for another day of ice fishing. Soon, the lakeside street will be lined with pickup trucks and the shanties will pepper the partially frozen lake.

I glance over to my warm bed and see my boy, all eleven years of him, long arms and legs sprawling across our queen size bed. I've barely any room to climb back in but manage to scoot him over enough to curl up next to him. I wrap my arms around him and take a trip down memory lane. All of those sleepless nights when he was a baby. All of the different stages of babyhood.

Seems like a breath away.

"He's growing up Mama..." the hubs reminds me. And sometimes, I just want to hit the rewind button.

One of my favorites. He used to point out where the squirrels were to our Jo.

It's so important to be praying for our kiddos. I've been praying for mine before he was bouncing around in my tummy. However, God has shown us that our prayers have become too vanilla. A going through the motions type. These years we have  with them are critical. I feel like HE  is challenging me and telling me "Daughter, it's time to get specific and you better be ready for battle."
You see, the bible says the devil roams around like a lion seeking to steal, kill, and destroy (see 1Peter 5:8). We cannot let our guard down. It's so easy to do especially, when things are going well. That's when you create an opening for him to sneak in and spread his terrible diseases.

As I lay here listening to the deep breathing of slumber and see the outline of his precious head, I am praying for him. He is entering a confusing time in a kiddos life. That space between just being a kid and heading quickly towards 'teendom'. It's my motherly duty. Covering him in prayers of protection and petitioning for his future. Interceding on his behalf (all while dodging elbows and knees).

As a mother, I must understand that my actions and my words are creating the framework for his thought and belief system. Therefore, I need to be mindful of what I am saying and doing and how I am doing it.   For instance, I really didn't realize how impatient of a driver I was until my son became my backseat driver.  Telling everyone on the road how to drive and where the gas pedal was.

 Hello reality check!

  I also didn't realize what a negative Nelly I had been until he would come home from school and complain about every little thing that happened.  I realized, our evenings when we shared about our day, he was hearing my husband and I vent about our day at work. We weren't sharing about the good things that happened as much as we were about the things that made us most crazy!

  I'm putting this out there because, it's real life!   We had to sit down with him and explain how our conversations should be positive and uplifting. Maybe, Mom and Dad need to exert a bit more patience when we are driving and give the other drivers grace.  Maybe, our evening conversations we should start sharing only positive stories and talking about the good things we experienced that day.

Parents,  we all know kids don't come with an owners manual. We can read every parenting resource on the market today but the only one truly able to help us become better parents is God's word.


Here are some of my go to passages:

Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you. Ephesians 4:29GNB

I am the Lord your God; I strengthen you and say, "do not be afraid, I will help you."  Isaiah 41:13

Do what your father tells you, my son, and never forget what your mother taught you. Keep their words with you always, locked in your heart. Their teaching will lead you when you travel, protect you at night, and advise you during the day. Their instructions are a shining light; their correction can teach you how to live.  Proverbs 6:20-23GNB

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Blessings,