Jamming with The Faith Barista today!

Have you ever been the new kid on the block? Nervous and awaiting someone, anyone to make eye contact with you and welcome you to play?

Growing up I never moved away or got to experience what that feels like. Sure, my parents sent me different places before and I had to try and make friends quickly. The sweaty palms and butterflies fluttering wildly, waiting for that first sign that you've been accepted.

 I’m experiencing NKOTB syndrome (and I don't mean the boy band from the 90's that we all loved). Me, a thirtysomething mama who has always been able to find at least ONE person to make friends with. Except this time...
I asked for it. I even prayed for this opportunity but, what I didn't ask for was the solitude, loneliness, and exclusion.  The little girl in me is looking for someone to lock eyes with, to make me feel accepted, and part of the team but, no one will look my way. 
At first, I arrived ready to shine this little light of mine. Now, I am feeling like a pinhole speck of light trying to burst through the ominous black clouds. Grumbles rumble and complaints fly. I try to make idle chatter but it tends to fall flat. 

After talking it over tearfully with my husband last night, I had a time of refreshing this morning. I listened to a couple of my favorite teachers of the word via podcast.

"This too shall  pass!" and "if you give others joy, it will bring you joy!" my sadness started to melt away like tiny snowflakes on a sunlit windowpane. Even more so when I heard that God knows with our words we are prophesying our future. I needed to see that I was being a little too negative about this situation and start speaking life and love into it.

The whole day I began to get affirmation and loving reminders from above. The song Draw Near by Bethel Music came on my internet radio station and the words were like honey to my soul: 

Draw near to me 
for I have drawn near to you
pull on the strings of my heart 
for I long to respond to you.

All my love is for you
And all my love is yours

I've made a place for you here
So come on, come on
All things are possible here
So come on, come on

Draw near to me
For I have drawn near to you
Pull on the strings of my heart 
for I long to respond to you

In that moment, I felt Jesus was with me telling me this is where he wants me right now at this very moment. He will make a way. I may not be able to see the purpose or the plan but to be having such a struggle, I feel like there must be something truly amazing on the horizon.

Have you ever struggled with fitting in? How did you overcome?

Psalms 25:14 "The Lord is the friend of those who obey him and he affirms his covenant with them." 

** I see a date with the Pillsbury doughboy in my future to bake these people some cookies. Maybe that will break the ice... :)


  1. I've been NKOTB quite a few times, and used to sort of enjoy the exhilaration of endless possibilities. But emigrating was so overwhelming it drowned the experience in anxiety instead. Some sort of community project (I auditioned for community theater) is probably the quickest way to become established somewhere new and at least manage to exchange 'hello's with people

  2. I hear you. But just remember there are seasons in life. I've been in seasons where I thought they would never end but ...they do. Be good to that little girl inside of you though.

    Stopping by from Bonnie's Faith Barista Jam.

    Blessings and love,

  3. Thank you Princess and Debbie. :)

    I have to share something that I just read and it blessed me so much.
    "Scientists have discovered that the human eye can see a single candle on a dark night up to 30 miles away.
    The light of Christ shining from a single person shatters the darkest of nights and can be seen around the entire world."
    Praise God! :)