Sand dollar reflections

In Bonnie Gray's book, Finding Spiritual Whitespace Awakening your soul to rest, I've gotten nearly halfway through and feel the seams of my heart coming loose so that the things I've shoved and stuffed down deep can come out and I can live a freer life.

At the end of each chapter she gives several exercises and journaling prompts.. I feel led to share with you my take on one of the exercises.

Bonnie says:

"If you've ever found yourself in the middle of a dark storm-or you're standing in the calm after living through one-look down on the ground you're journeying through. Let's pick up the broken pieces the tide's brought in.

We can turn over shells that have been trampled on, flecks of white half buried in the sand. Because anyone who has ever stopped to pick up sand dollars after a storm will tell you - bring a yellow beach pail.

Among the ruin, we will find perfect, whole sand dollars. They're hidden on the shore, mixed in with the broken pieces."

To which I utter my new favorite word right now.... WOWZA!

In this prompt she asks us what helps connect us to pieces of our past?

I give you my story.


The little girl with honey blond hair that loved to wear dresses and twirl (so the skirt would fan out pretty) had a dog. A part of the family since her fourth birthday and quickly named "Snoopy".

Snoopy was a white beagle with tan ears and speckles. She grew and had puppies!
The little girl was so excited and happy because there were cute little puppies in her backyard to cuddle and love. Some did not make it but, three did.
She remembers two of their names to be Brownie and Whitey.

As they grew, she would rush to the back yard to play with them. She loved them so and they loved her too; for they knocked her down and covered her with kisses all the time!

One day the pups got brave and started meeting her in the driveway as she got off the school bus each day.

The little girls parents were concerned. They didn't want the pups to get hit by a car with their new found bravery.

Her Daddy made the decision to take them to a farm where they could run and play without the danger of a busy street.

The little girl was not old enough to be involved in this conversation or making the decision.

Upon returning home from school one day, there were no puppies greeting her in the driveway. No puppies, knocking her down in the fall grass to  give her puppy kisses.

When she asked where the  puppies were, she was given the news of them being taken to the farm.

A full out tantrum ensued with large, wet, tears, staccato breaths and all...

When Daddy came home it began again but, this time she yelled "why did you do this to me?! Why did you take my puppies away?!"
The only answer that was given was "The puppies were getting too curious and we were afraid they would get hit by a car if they wandered into the street."

I'll never forget the pure joy I felt each day when the puppies would come running to me when I got home from school. I also never forget how hurt I felt when I found out that they were gone....


Bonnie Gray is the writer behind Faith Barista.com who wrote a book about her inspiring, heart-breaking journey to find rest, which garnered Publisher’s Weekly starred review. I’m taking the journey to find rest through this guidebook and invite you to read it too.  You can get a copy HERE.

Linking today with The Faith Barista

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dannyman/451958584/">dannyman</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a>