Restless.

Frustration.

Feeling as if what I'm doing as a mother is not enough.

Ever feel this way?

Even if you're not a mother you still might go through feelings of restlessness and frustration and you just can't seem to put your finger on why.

Comparison.

If I peel back the layers like the pages of a paperback that's dried out after being left out in the rain. Pages fragile and stiff. This is usually one of the main culprits.

Do you feel fragile but yet bristle when something touches the ache of what you think you need?

I struggle with this and I know many of us do.

We see someone that looks absolutely perfect on the outside. WE make our own internal observations about how much better they are than us. Then we start checking ourselves next to what we've conjured up.



The Devil just giggles and howls. Enjoying the misery we've created in doing this. Then he adds his two cents.

Whispering lies into our little ears. Lies about what 'she' is really like. You know the inner conversations...

"she dresses so nice, always in fashion, hair perfect. She's slender and fit has two kids a great job... What happened to you? You aren't nearly as pretty. Look at how frumpy you look today and you thought you looked pretty.... Wonder what she thinks of you? I bet she thinks you look ridicules."..... See? I could go on.

As a mother I fight the thief of comparison too. I see other moms that seem to have it all together, I read other mom blogs and sometimes I step away feeling so small. I start thinking of all of the things I should be doing as a mom based on what others are doing and I get this sense of defeat.

Lean in. Can I just be real with you for a moment?

The only reason I'm sharing this is because I know that I can't be alone in this battle and I want to reach out, put an arm around your shoulder, and let you know, I see you.

Like me, maybe you feel inadequate as a mom. You wonder why God would entrust you with this precious life. Maybe you've spent much of their life listening to what other people think you should do or how you should raise them. I'm going to guess for the most part, none of those things have worked for you.

(SIGH) and getting down to the nitty gritty, maybe you feel like such a monster yourself? Losing your patience and yelling. Do you set your expectations for your child too high and lose sight of the fact that they're still young and don't know it all just yet? Me too.



I think what really gets to me is when we have some alone time together. Like when I'm tucking him in at night and he wraps his arms around my neck, buries his head in my hair and whispers in my ear "you're the best mama ever! I love you mama!"

On one hand, I feel a sense of relief that maybe he doesn't notice my screw ups but then on the other hand I'm beating myself up because I really could be such a better mama.

Anyone relating out there?

I know I write about grace quite a bit but honestly grace is always available to us. We only have to ask!

And Oh how I  ask  beg!

I know there is just a short span of time to raise our children and raise them right. One day I will long for the chaos of muddy kitchen floors, the scattered Lego's and finding rocks that have gone through the laundry.

God gave us our babies because He knows He can entrust us to raise them up right. Even if our style is not in fashion with everyone else.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen
Phillipians 4:23 GNB

So too, at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace
Romans 11:5 GNB


Linking with Bonnie Gray  The Faith Barista and Holley Gerth's Coffee For Your Heart,


 


photo credit: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/chrish_99/6730952349/">lucidtech</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>


6 Comments

  1. No, Krista, you certainly aren't alone in this battle. It's so hard not to get caught in the comparison trap, whether as mothers, grandmas, friends, servers of Jesus, writers, etc. Yes, what would we do without GRACE?! And for the record, Krista, I believe you are exactly the mother God suited to your boy's needs. :)

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    1. Thanks Trudy 😊
      You're so sweet!
      Be blessed 💜

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  2. I too compare myself to others, but I think I do it less than I used to.
    I am at a point now where I ask my girls who's the best Mama after I do something fun. I want to hear them say it's me as often as I can before they are too old to like me :)

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    1. I like that idea! ;)
      Thanks for stopping by!
      Blessings to you and your girls,

      Delete
  3. Hi Krista, I'm your neighbor over at faithbarista. I too write a lot about grace on my blog, but in this area I've prayed more on the lines of MERCY. Mine are grown now and looking back there's much I wish I could undo, but I try to remember what Jesus said when someone approached Him calling Him "good teacher". His response..."Why do you call me good? No one is good but One, that is God." Knowing this also helps me know that God provides mercy and is faithful to redeem the mistakes we make...since according to Him none of us have it all together. Let's continually point our children to HIS goodness...not ours. Your post is a terrific, comforting reminder that love is the best parenting skill we have! Bless you....

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  4. I wrote this loooong comment, but for some reason it wasn't submitted. THANK YOU! For writing this! I just want to say: "I KNOW, right?", to all of it! ;-) I love this sentence: "God gave us our babies because He knows He can entrust us to raise them up right. Even if our style is not in fashion with everyone else." and the bible verses you've found! God bless you!Ps! Visiting from Coffee for your heart.
    -Ava Sophie

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