A lesson of Trust and waiting

"You're new to all of this aren't you?" The lady with the over sized dark glasses said to me over the pharmacy counter. I must've had a look on my face like she was speaking in an unknown language. Pre-Approvals, Insurance, and a subtle jab at our pediatrician "they never follow up on these things. You should call them first thing tomorrow if you want to get the ball rolling on this."  I shook my head at her and looked down at the big sticker she had already slapped onto the prescription sitting on the counter. No, unfortunately I'm not. We're having trouble getting my son's regular prescription filled because the manufacturer can't keep up. I thought if we had the doctor call something else in that was more readily available, I wouldn't have to deal with this so much.
She stared at me from behind her big dark glasses. I couldn't tell if she was rolling her eyes or looking at me with sincerity. "Well, that's all we can do right now. WE just have to wait" she said all sing songy. "So, you're telling me I can't come pick this up tomorrow?" I asked. "Well, it just depends on your insurance and the doctor following through..." My face started to feel numb and the room began to tilt. I felt my chest get tight and the air starting to get thin. I had to get out of there!

The night before, I had picked our son up on my way home from work and explained to him what was going on. To prepare him for what could happen. I assured him that I had this under control and "we aren't going to worry about this. Right?" "God will take care of this. It's just a test." I encouraged him. I gave him the scenarios but never did I think I'd have to tell him my plans didn't go according to what I thought.

If any of you have a child that has to take medicine every day, you know how unnerving it can be when you're down to the last bit and the pharmacy, read no pharmacy in a decent radius has any or, can get any until who knows when!  We've resorted to giving him half doses thinking it would buy us enough time to get what we need. I call the doctor and explain what has happened and he is kind enough to call something else in.  But, when you go to get it filled and the first pharmacy associate looks at you and laughs in your face exclaiming, "I don't know WHY they would even write this! Nobody will have it!" I took a step back and said "really?" Surely, this will all work out. I'll just try another brand of pharmacy.

As I left the pharmacy with the words of the lady in dark glasses ringing in my ears, I was almost in tears as I got to my car. How are we going to do this?  My son needs this medicine.  It's not a life or death situation I assure you.  But, when you have a child that has trouble focusing and needs meds to help him concentrate in class, you'd totally understand.  Yes, I know lots of people that have attention deficit some who choose to medicate and some who can handle it on their own. We realized almost four years ago that our son does much better with meds. He went from failing school to bringing his grades up to all A's in one grading period.

As I drove down through the city, my husband called to find out what was going on. He told me to go home and relax. There's nothing more I could do at this point. I wanted to call my friend and vent to her but, I felt a small tug and a whisper. "You don't need to vent to anyone but me. Trust me." The lump in my throat and tears that were forming in my eyes slowly faded away. As I navigated a busy narrow street during rush hour I was reminded by the song on the radio softly playing in the background. "I will trust in you /You've never failed before/ I will trust in you."

I had said it the night before to our son "we have to trust that God will take care of this and of you."

I think there's a message here... and so, while we play the waiting game to see which pharmacy is going to come through for our son, we have to fall back on a verse that someone reminded me of several years ago. Times were so bad back then, It was scary and I honestly didn't know what was going to happen next. This person would remind me constantly of:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5 NIV

AND

Joshua 1:9 is my son's favorite verse. We remind him of this one a lot...

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go."

Linking today with Coffee For Your Heart - Holley Gerth