The weather here in the Midwest is teasing us  with it's springlike temperatures and sun filled skies. The spring bulbs are even a bit confused, bursting forth with new green chutes. Buds hang heavy near the old shed waiting for their moment to Bloom.

The birds have come to perch in our old walnut trees as they cackle and sing back and forth. A woodpecker has found the perfect place to make his home and most afternoons he works and works.....and works. He rat-a-tats so much, I wonder if he gets a headache?

Today is one of those days.  The clouds are perfect for gazing.  Searching for shapes and signs. When I was about 14 or 15, my bedroom was directly above our garage. Some afternoons like this I would quietly climb upon my bed, slide the window open and climb out onto the roof. I would lay there and cloud gaze. Those were the days before social media and the video games in the late 80's/early 90's, were a far cry from today.  I survived on Music and Seventeen magazine.

Those early years, I discovered my true passion.  I spent hours with my notebooks and journals writing poems, song lyrics, doodling my name (and I never could write in those way cool bubble letters like my friends).

I've always had a creative spirit. Like an artist,   I create my 'pieces' with words and feelings. Blending in a soft stroke of my faith sometimes. Yet other times, I write about my faith with a bold pop of color.

I often wonder why God would have me at a desk job.  Sitting behind the dull green cubicle walls (decorated affectionately with my son's pictures and artwork) click clacking away, file after file.
 Some days I find my rhythm but, most days, the struggle is real. And I realize "the struggle is real" is such an overused statement but, can I tell you something?  There are days my hands begin to shake. Not in trepidation or fear. Its this longing for my pen and paper or the feel of MY keyboard at my fingertips.  The words pouring out and the clickety-clack sounds like beautiful music. Because I'm creating something.  The pull some days is SO severe I have to scratch the itch and jot ideas down (on breaks of course).  If you could see the inside of my tote, I have  notes on top of notes with plenty of words on them.
Words to sift through and find the precious nuggets I enjoy sharing with you in this space.
Because, sometimes when I open my mouth, the words that come out sound nothing like what trickles out of my finger tips.

I talked to a kindred last week. A pastor's wife. We discussed the fact we were both very introverted.  I was surprised to find how alike we were in that sense.  The "I enjoy coming to bible study but, honestly it's hard when you prefer spending your evenings at home (with your people)."
I joined a women's bible study a couple of months ago and when our leader asked us to take turns praying (OUT LOUD?) for each other, I admit I almost wet my pants. I wanted to say "wait, can I just have an hour or two,  can I pass until next week? You see, I can write it out on paper, feelings and all but to have someone ask me unexpectedly (or even expectedly) to pray out loud? Its like test anxiety to me."

 I. Blank. Out.

You know what? I ended up doing it anyway.  I think my eyes almost popped out of my head and my jaw hit the floor when I was called upon to start it off.
 By golly I did it though.
 I honestly don't remember what I said (maybe that's a good thing?) but, after I did I realized it wasn't so bad.  I've been making it a point to be open to praying out loud now. I even have offered to pray over our little family before bedtime.  This might not seem like much to you, but it's been a huge hurdle that the devil set up for me.  I finally cleared it and heaped a few burning coals on his head as I sailed over. (wink).

I'm just sharing from my heart today.  So, let me ask you, what hurdles have you faced and cleared by taking a step out in faith?


Linking today with Bonnie Gray at #OneWordCoffee


  1. Isn't spring beautiful with all its new life? It always gives me renewed hope. I love that Martin Luther quote. I identify with it being easier to write our feelings that say them. Bravo for you in heaping a few burning coals over the devil's head! Blessings and hugs to you, Krista! Please keep on writing!

  2. Empathize with so much of what you share here. I also yearn to write to let out what's inside and I also struggle with bigger groups of people, preferring to stay home, or just meet up with one. Thanks for the encouragement to pray out loud: love that you were emboldened to do so!

    Loved reading your words this afternoon: visiting from Faith Barista (