This is a call to all the dead and disappointed
The ones who feel like they are done
This is a word to all the ones who feel forgotten
But you are not
Oh you are not
Lyrics by All Sons and Daughters - Alive
I had plans for a different post to publish today but His plans always trump mine. (wink)
I feel just awful. I saw a cry for help last night and I didn't jump in and offer just that... help.
I heard this song today and immediately the lyrics spoke to my heart.
You see, I've been going through this grief thing. Greiving for a friend that should still be here. She didn't ask for help. Didn't really give us any signs that things were that dark in her world.
But last night somebody else shared that they were in that place and I started to respond to them but got called away to help a 10 year old with homework and finish fixing dinner.
I don't want to see someone else get into that place and not get the help that they need or seek.
For someone that's had it rough from the start and things just keep piling upon them.
After years upon years of being treated poorly, made fun of, picked on, bullied... you get it, right? You eventually build up a wall and keep your defense up tight.
It's like Job. His life was flipped upside down and miserable for such a long time. His wealth and his children were taken from him and then, he broke out into painful sores all over his body.
He was suffering so much that his wife was even like "You are still as faithful as ever, aren't you? why don't you curse God and die?" (Job 2:9).
Instead of taking his wife's advice, he basically told her she was crazy. He says "When God sends us something good, we welcome it. How can we complain when he sends us trouble?" (Job 2:10)
Eventually, he did find himself in that place. The place that you might be in right now. Feeling despair, like no one understands, you're hurting and it looks like there is no end in sight.
Job got to the place where he finally broke down and cursed the day he was born. He let it all out. If you read Job 3 you can see just how deep in depression he was. I mean, even the very last verse he says "I have no peace, no rest, and my troubles never end." (Job 3:26)
You might be asking yourself where I'm going with this but I do have a point.
You see, you might be in a place of hardship or suffering right now. Or, maybe you've just really had a rough life all the way around (can't catch a break). Maybe you're feeling like Job where your peace is gone and you are suffering insomnia. It feels like your troubles will never end.
Job had three good friends that he talks to. They seem to be his only source of encouragement and advice yet, they sit and listen to him pour out his heart in anguish. That's a true friend.
What I'm getting at is this, If you're in "that place" feeling like there is no hope, feeling like this world would be better without you in it. Or, maybe you're just in a really bad spot and could see yourself heading in that direction? Please know that you aren't alone. There are people that have been in your shoes before and they made it through the rough waters. I can't say it enough YOU are worth it!
If you don't think you have anyone to talk to, please call the AFSP hot line. You will be connected to talk with someone that will help you.
Find someone to talk to! Your pastor, school guidance counselor, your boss, your family, a good friend.
Because, friend your story isn't over yet...
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| The semi-colon is now recognized as the symbol for suicide awareness and prevention. |
Please call 1-800-273-TALK to be connected to someone who wants to help!
Also, for more information go to https://www.afsp.org/
Blessings,
Posts
dear Krista, i think it's a beautiful post -- a refuge for a kindred who would be crossing paths here in the digital space. but, most importantly, i am so thankful you shared this beloved brew, because i hear your heart in these words. and that is what is most beautiful about your writing. i feel a connection with your heart and what God is whispering to you this week. as for your feeling of guilt, i hope you can let that burden down because you don't have to carry that. you were that voice in the moment you can offer & it isn't the length of time you spend with her. it's that moment knowing you care. i know you're grieving right now over the shock and trauma of realizing your friend couldn't see a way out and left so tragically. i wonder if you carry a sense of guilt? it can happen when you care about someone so much and unable to make sense of the shock of death, we as caring people can blame ourselves because it's a sense of such loss and it's human want to form some logic over why it happened and how we could have prevented it. i know for myself, it points me back to times earlier in my childhood when i felt people around me were not emotionally in control and I was always the one who carried them emotionally. so for me, that why i'm quick to feel guilty of someone i care about is having a hard time. it brings out my sense of helplessness and I always think, I could have done more or i blame myself. anyways, just wanted to share from my heart -- having read your brew from your heart. love and hugs.. wish I could bring you coffee and give you a big hug and tell you eye to eye, you don't have to carry it all. xo
ReplyDeleteThank you Bonnie, I think I've come to a place where I'm doing better than I was 6 months ago after it happened. I guess I might still feel a little guilt, I still occaisionally go over the days prior to her passing and replay how I would've handled things differently. However, I'm starting to see how God has used even this and turned out some beautiful things from it.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to make time to come here and share my heart more often. :)
And by the way, I am so glad you stopped by! :)
Coffee and a big hug from you would be fantastic!
(((HUGS))) to you my friend!
Oh Krista, I can feel your pleading passion in this that springs from your experience with your friend. The helplessness you feel/felt and the desire to support people and tell them their story isn't over yet. Thank you. It has encouraged my heart, too, today. Hugs!
ReplyDelete